In this video, Lada Gaga-Gorgo (in a dress that was the result of a set of blacksmith bellows running full-speed into a suit of leather armor) sings a song from inside a Post-Apocalyptic Underground Bunker while surrounded by mostly-naked male survivors (of the apocalypse) who are passing the time by practicing their Spartan Staff Fighting.
Also there's a piano on a giant top.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Yoü and I... and Mad Science!
This video is a story about how a woman was dating a boy in Nebraska who started out as a greaser, but grew up to be a White-Trash Mad Doctor obsessed with using radical genetic surgery to create the Perfect Lover.
After many years and being turned into a mermaid, she escapes. Her lonely boyfriend makes an army of BDSM Mutant-Sex-Slaves out of the other, failed experiments that he keeps in the warehouse on his farm. Everyone in Nebraska has a warehouse on their farm.
The former-mermaid returns, having used Cyborg Technology to undo his alterations to her body. Her implants are powered by the solar cells on her large hat. Not those implants.
She seduces him and releases the other experiments, who join her in a Celebratory Strip-Tease.
They get married in a cornfield.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Thor on Tyr's Day
We here at Suspicious Sources believe in doing things at the right time (usually later), but after all attempts at arranging a group outing to see Thor on Thor's Day failed, Source J was forced to cave in and see Thor on Tyr's Day. He laments this, but will soldier on.
So, how did Thor rate on the Suspiciously Accurate Scale? Hard to say, actually. It wasn't a thundering success, but it was more fun than having a Thorn (Þ) in your foot. The main problem with Thor was that it was trying to move faster than lightning, but that just ends up with all the character development coming in one big crash (of thunder!). We ended up knowing more about Loki, the villain, than we did about the heroine (Natalie Portman needs more screentime. In everything. Forever.) and Source J did not approve. Sure, Loki has a compelling story, but it could have been cut back drastically and still been in the movie, just as easy to follow.
Suspicious Sources are starting to wonder what it is with Hollywood and trying to rush through movies. Clash of the Titans was a High-Speed Flight on a Hyperactive Pegasus that crammed three hours of movie into 90 minutes. Thor wasn't as bad, but it was pretty close. Does Hollywood think movie-goers won't sit in the theaters long enough to have any depth to supporting characters? Screw that, they'll sit through ALL THE CREDITS for the Five Minute Teaser at the end of a Marvel movie! WTF, Hollywood? Wodin, Thor & Freya indeed.
Despite the Thunderous pace, Thor was actually a decent movie. Chris Hemsworth could NOT have been better. Natalie Portman didn't have time to show off her acting skill, but Tom Hiddleston (as Loki) did an amazing job as the Lie-Smith. I'll even throw some props to the folks that played Thor's three sidekicks and Sif. Sure, it was a bit weird to have a thick Japanese Accent coming from a Viking God, but.. eh. I can't actually fault ANY of the actors, it was a failure of pacing, not ability.
Oh, and before I forget, the movie was gorgeous. Not just Natalie Portman, the whole thing. Asgard was soaring and glittery, Jotunheim was gloriously frigid and ghostly, the costuming was great and Bifröst was super Rainbow-y without being over the top. Hemidall and Bifröst were actually some of my favorite parts of the movie. Screw anyone who was mad that Hemidall was black, the actor was great. If you're going to devalue his performance because he didn't match the character's race, whatever. This was not a case of The Last Airbender, though it could have been. No, instead Idris Elba was masterful and damn impressive.
So, back to the Suspiciously Accurate Scale: Thor was a Win. I know, I expected more too, but it was just too fast. It could have been Badass, and ALL the actors deserved at LEAST Badass, but overall it was too cluttered and frenetic to be more than a Win. It was better than Fantastic Four and Spiderman, but not as good as Iron Man or X-Men.
So, how did Thor rate on the Suspiciously Accurate Scale? Hard to say, actually. It wasn't a thundering success, but it was more fun than having a Thorn (Þ) in your foot. The main problem with Thor was that it was trying to move faster than lightning, but that just ends up with all the character development coming in one big crash (of thunder!). We ended up knowing more about Loki, the villain, than we did about the heroine (Natalie Portman needs more screentime. In everything. Forever.) and Source J did not approve. Sure, Loki has a compelling story, but it could have been cut back drastically and still been in the movie, just as easy to follow.
Suspicious Sources are starting to wonder what it is with Hollywood and trying to rush through movies. Clash of the Titans was a High-Speed Flight on a Hyperactive Pegasus that crammed three hours of movie into 90 minutes. Thor wasn't as bad, but it was pretty close. Does Hollywood think movie-goers won't sit in the theaters long enough to have any depth to supporting characters? Screw that, they'll sit through ALL THE CREDITS for the Five Minute Teaser at the end of a Marvel movie! WTF, Hollywood? Wodin, Thor & Freya indeed.
Despite the Thunderous pace, Thor was actually a decent movie. Chris Hemsworth could NOT have been better. Natalie Portman didn't have time to show off her acting skill, but Tom Hiddleston (as Loki) did an amazing job as the Lie-Smith. I'll even throw some props to the folks that played Thor's three sidekicks and Sif. Sure, it was a bit weird to have a thick Japanese Accent coming from a Viking God, but.. eh. I can't actually fault ANY of the actors, it was a failure of pacing, not ability.
Oh, and before I forget, the movie was gorgeous. Not just Natalie Portman, the whole thing. Asgard was soaring and glittery, Jotunheim was gloriously frigid and ghostly, the costuming was great and Bifröst was super Rainbow-y without being over the top. Hemidall and Bifröst were actually some of my favorite parts of the movie. Screw anyone who was mad that Hemidall was black, the actor was great. If you're going to devalue his performance because he didn't match the character's race, whatever. This was not a case of The Last Airbender, though it could have been. No, instead Idris Elba was masterful and damn impressive.
So, back to the Suspiciously Accurate Scale: Thor was a Win. I know, I expected more too, but it was just too fast. It could have been Badass, and ALL the actors deserved at LEAST Badass, but overall it was too cluttered and frenetic to be more than a Win. It was better than Fantastic Four and Spiderman, but not as good as Iron Man or X-Men.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Truly Illuminating
We here are Suspicious Sources had heard some good things about The Secret of Kells, but I hadn't seen it and Source T couldn't remember much of it. Personally, I think something must be wrong with Source T's brain, since the only way she could possibly forget The Secret of Kells is if the part of her brain where it was being stored was scooped out of her head with a ladle.
The Secret of Kells will Blow Your Mind. It's like Foster's House for Imaginary Friends on Early Irish Christian Crack combined with Illuminated Manuscript Acid. Take the vector-graphic style of Foster's, add in a heavy dose of Irish-Christian manuscript texture and bring the whole thing to life in eye-popping combinations of color, shape, texture, line and motion. That's the Secret of Kells. It's amazing. Amazingly amazing.
Maybe there could have been a TOUCH more background and exposition, but really, who cares? The story was solid, the characters were all nicely personable and Holy Shit It Was Gorgeous!, did I mention that?
Normally, I'd go further into the plot, but I just can't give anything away. You, each and every one of you, need to go watch this movie. Right now. In fact, you should have been watching it since before you started reading this. Why aren't you? Go go!
The Secret of Kells will Blow Your Mind. It's like Foster's House for Imaginary Friends on Early Irish Christian Crack combined with Illuminated Manuscript Acid. Take the vector-graphic style of Foster's, add in a heavy dose of Irish-Christian manuscript texture and bring the whole thing to life in eye-popping combinations of color, shape, texture, line and motion. That's the Secret of Kells. It's amazing. Amazingly amazing.
Maybe there could have been a TOUCH more background and exposition, but really, who cares? The story was solid, the characters were all nicely personable and Holy Shit It Was Gorgeous!, did I mention that?
Normally, I'd go further into the plot, but I just can't give anything away. You, each and every one of you, need to go watch this movie. Right now. In fact, you should have been watching it since before you started reading this. Why aren't you? Go go!
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